My QB is tougher then yours

Farve, the aftermath of the Saints game….refs said they missed a few late hit calls…YOU THINK…
read the rest of the story – Here

Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
Mr. White: A lot.
[Reservior Dogs]

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Speaking of Fish Sticks…
The stories linked below have all appeared on digg.com in the last month… three of them in the last two days. So I thought it was only right to group them all together into one post.

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Cop blames he tested positive for cocaine due to having oral sex with his coke-head girlfriend.

Goldin’s lawsuit said the cocaine in his system was the product of “passive ingestion” from performing oral sex on girlfriend Coreen McCarthy, who, once he tested positive, admitted to him that she was a regular cocaine user.
[via NY Daily News]

Raccoon bites off man’s penis.

A feisty raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s penis as he was trying to rape the animal.
[via The Sun]

Best friend bites off man’s penis and swallows it.

Police and medics could find no trace of Marian’s missing genitalia, and believe his attacker Wojciech Sowinski – now facing 10 years in jail – may have eaten it.
[via Metro News]

Docs: Many Men Have “Small-Penis Syndrome”

Study: 85% Of Women Are Pleased With Partner’s Penis Size, But 45% of Men Wish Theirs Were Bigger
[via CBS News]

Small-penis syndrome is actually called “Micropenis”

Micropensises (penises with a flaccid length of less than 2.7 inches)
[via Live Science]

Does size matter?

Relax, guys. No matter what those, ahem, movies might suggest, in the United States, the average erect penis is five to seven inches long, and four to six inches in circumference.
[via Live Science]

Childcare workers threatened to cut off four-year-old boy’s penis

Two childcare workers have been handed suspended jail terms for holding a knife to a four-year-old boy and threatening to cut off his penis.

The mother and daughter admitted making the threats to “shock” the boy so he’d stop exposing himself at the Perth daycare centre where they worked.
[via ninemsn]

POPE Benedict last night claimed that placing a bible over an erect penis before intercourse is the only guaranteed way to prevent the spread of Aids.

Dr Emma Bradford, of Reading University, said: “I guess you would have to rip out a few pages of Leviticus and then somehow fashion them into a condom-like device using lots and lots of masking tape.

“Or you could shred the pages, soak them in water and construct something that looks a bit like a paper maché cigar tube.”

Dr Bradford added: “It has to be one of those two because suggesting that the African Aids epidemic can be contained simply by reading the bible would be criminally insane.”
[via The Daily Mash]

Teenager paints 60ft phallus on roof of family home

Rory McInnes, 18, climbed on to the flat roof of his parents’ home and daubed the symbol using a tin of white paint, after watching a programme about Google Earth.
[via Telegraph]

A Chinese man recovers from surgery that removed part of his facial tumours, which weigh more than 20 kilogrammes in total.

Click Play or visit Reuters.com

CHICAGO – The telltale signs are ominous: teens holing up in their rooms, ignoring friends, family, even food and a shower, while grades plummet and belligerence soars.

The culprit isn’t alcohol or drugs. It’s video games, which for certain kids can be as powerfully addictive as heroin, some doctors contend.

A leading council of the nation’s largest doctors’ group wants to have this behavior officially classified as a psychiatric disorder, to raise awareness and enable sufferers to get insurance coverage for treatment.

Now I’m all for people getting help when they need it, for any reason. But without people willing to sacrifice their sanity for video games, we wouldn’t have the joys of internet video clips such as the infamous Leeroy Jenkins:

So with that in mind, go shoot some aliens, play some solitaire, or have a Super Mario Brothers Speed Race!!

I saw this chart awhile ago and decided to add it today after Nate left a comment on the Hot Dog Eating World Record.

nate said:
“…it’s pretty disgusting that the richest countries in the world hold eating contests, while the poorest search for something to eat. That’s time well spent, America.”

And here it is, what we’ve all been waiting for… the “Americans Are Fat” chart.

Click the image for a larger version.

click play or watch video here

“COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — A federal judge on Tuesday delayed next week’s execution of cult leader Jeffrey Lundgren to allow him to join a lawsuit by five other death row inmates challenging the state’s use of lethal injection.”

“In his request to join the lawsuit, Lundgren, 56, said he is at even greater risk of experiencing pain and suffering during the procedure than other inmates because he is overweight and diabetic.”

“Lundgren’s sentence stems from a conviction for the fatal shooting of a family of five in 1989. The family, which included three children, were killed while they stood in a pit dug inside his barn in northeast Ohio.”

I think a little “cruel and unusual punishment” is fitting in this case. In the words of Marge Simpson, “Shoot ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out!”

Full Story

Call-In-Sick.com

Picture the scenario: You stay out too late on a workday night and decide to call in sick the next day. The next day you drag yourself out of bed at 5am because you know your boss won’t be there to answer the phone.

With Call-in-Sick you can record your sick message the night before then schedule it to be sent directly to your boss’s phone early in the morning without you even getting out of bed!

Steve Irwin died on September 4, 2006, after being stung by a stingray while filming an underwater documentary near the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Irwin received a puncture wound in the upper left side of his chest, which resulted in a form of cardiac arrest, killing him almost instantly. His crew called for emergency medical treatment and tried to revive him with CPR, but he was pronounced dead at the scene when the emergency medical team arrived. He was 44 years old.
Full Story at About.com

Very obese women should be denied fertility treatment, experts say.

The British Fertility Society is recommending women with a body mass index of 36 and over should not be allowed access to fertility treatment.

Step-by-Step Meat Cake

You do NOT need a membership to buy booze (beer or hard liqour) from these companies and you still get the “member price” — so you alcoholics should try this and let me know in the comments if it works.

EXTRA EXTRA CHEAP BOOZE FOR SALE READ ALL ABOUT IT

After checking out leoburnett.com I found another billboard they did that I really like.

Remember back 4 months to ‘Baseball’s Best Burger‘ – the minor league baseball team who was going to sell bacon cheese burgers on Krispy Kreme donuts instead of buns.

I’m a little late – but I finally made my own.

Hundreds of people have flocked to a hospital in the Indian city of Calcutta to see a man holding a sizeable chunk of his head in his hands.

Doctors say a section of electrician Sambhu Roy’s skull fell off on Sunday, months after he suffered severe burns.

He has now become the centre of public attention as the man who literally “holds his head in his hands”.

Full Article