Found over at Gizmodo.com

Apologies to Miss KayLani P., and good luck this season.

Preps plus: Volleyball quarterback, Moorhead senior Penas reaps rewards of hard work

KayLani Penas’ numbers don’t jump off the Moorhead volleyball stat sheet. But the Spuds don’t need to look at statistics to know her value. The senior sets. She hits. She blocks. She leads.

By: Kerry Collins, INFORUM

KayLani Penas’ numbers don’t jump off the Moorhead volleyball stat sheet.
But the Spuds don’t need to look at statistics to know her value.
The senior sets. She hits. She blocks. She leads.
“I don’t know if her stats really stick out at you, but she does quite a bit for us,” Spuds coach Char Lien said. “She works and works and does a lot of things right for us.
“She’s our quarterback. She’s the point guard. She sets up the plays.”
Penas had 352 assists going into Monday’s match at Fergus Falls, putting her eighth all-time in school history in that category.
But at 5 feet, 10 inches tall – and left-handed – she’s also dangerous at the net.
She has 78 kills this season with seven solo blocks and 53 block assists.
“I’m pretty comfortable doing everything out there, but I’m probably the most comfortable with setting,” Penas said. “The (varsity) experience from my sophomore year helps, but I was just gaining more strength that year.”
Lien took her time with Penas, adding different facets to her game each season. Penas was just a front-row player as a sophomore, now she does a little of everything.
“She’s matured so much the last three years, and she’s a lot more confident with her decision-making,” Lien said. “It’s like each year we’ve done something with her and said ‘OK, you’ve got that down. Let’s move on to something else now.’ ”
Penas is somewhat of a perfectionist, Lien said, and the senior loves practice because she knows that’s the place where she gets better.
“I enjoy practice,” Penas said. “…I mean, there are times where you’re tired and stressed out, but I usually love going to practice.
“During practice, I have to practice everything, so it can be a lot of work, but I don’t mind that.”
Lien said she knew that Penas was going to be a solid player when she was coming up, and the Spuds have taken the time to groom her into a solid all-around player.
“Having a left-handed, tall setter is unheard off, so when she was coming up through the ranks we were drooling over that fact,” Lien said. “We ask her to do a lot of things, and she’s always wanted to keep getting better.”
This year has been a little different for Penas. Last season, she had two big hitters in Kassie Hooten and Kaitlyn Rogalla.
This year, the balanced Spuds are going to a number of different hitters, meaning Penas is spreading it around a lot more.
“Last year, when you got in trouble, you just went to those two,” Penas said. “This year, people don’t know where we’re going.”
Penas will play volleyball in college at Bemidji State, where she will likely be a right-side hitter. For right now, Lien has been tickled with Penas’ senior year.
“We’re really a team, because we don’t have that one person that really stands out,” Lien said. “But she’s kind of been right in the middle of everything for us. She’s been good.”

'80s Dating Video

The Great Minnesota Get-Together opens today and runs until Sept. 7th.

First up, Burger King’s “Seven Incher” ad featuring a lady ready to take one in the mouth.

And now for Hardee’s new commercial – if you ask me, I think they’re a bunch of A-holes.

Click play or visit YouTube to watch Hardee’s new commercial.

p.s. Dear Maria, your Rick Roll may have worked this time, but don’t think you’re gonna get a new post every time you pull a stunt like that. :)

Orphaned Tweets on Slate.com

Two of these “lost tweets” really caught my attention:
Phillyrules it hurts to breathe. should I go to the hospital?
10:09 PM Aug 23rd, 2008

DouglasAllen I am writing an email to the makers of Spray N Wash to thank them for making a product that got the blood stains out of my new PJs and robe.
7:40 PM Aug 27th, 2007

WHA?

So, do you tweet?

Awkward Family Photos

Here’s just a sampling:

That guys looks a little to happy to be dressed up as Eore.

I can just hear the photographer:
“Ok, everyone hold up your stuffed animals. That’s great…wait a minute. You in the front. What the heck is that? I told you to bring a stuffed bear! Now the picture is ruined!”

• Blake has worked at the fast food restaurant Jack In The Box for over 8 years.
• Blake prints out his work schedule to give to his regular customers.
• Blake has a tattoo of the “jack” the company logo/mascot.

[via Consumerist]

Prices, for the CD, range from $7 to $75,000.

So what exactly do you get for a $75,000 CD?

Let’s look at each price point. I’ll only list a few items for each price point. You can check them out, in full detail, at joshfreese.com.

$7 = digital download of the album

$15 = CD/DVD double disc set & digital download

$50 = Signed CD, digital dl, t-shirt, five minute phone call with Josh

$250 = Signed drum head and drumsticks, Lunch with Josh at PF Changs or Cheesecake Factory

$500 = Signed Cymbals, go floating in a Sensory Deprivation Tank, Dinner at Sizzler

$1,000 =

• Josh washes your car
• Dinner aboard the “Queen Mary”
• Cut each other’s hair in the parking lot of the Long Beach courthouse

$2,500 =

• Drum lesson or back and foot massage
• Take 3 items of your choice out of Josh’s closet
• visit the Hollywood Wax Museum (with Josh and any one member of DEVO or Vandals)

$5,000 =

• Josh writes a song about you and puts it on iTunes and his upcoming album
• Stone from Pearl Jam will send you a letter telling you about his favorite song on “Since 1972″

(Dylan, do you have $5,000 laying around?)

$10,000 =

• Lunch at “Club 33″ (super exclusive, private restaurant at Disneyland located above the Pirates of the Caribean)
• at the end of the day at Disneyland drive away with Josh’s 1993 Volvo 940 wagon (72k miles)

$20,000 =

• Mini Golfing with DEVO and dropped off on the side of the freeway (all filmed and posted on youtube)
• Tour of Long Beach (including a coffee shop where Josh’s buddy paid Dave Grohl $40 to rip up some tile just weeks before joining Nirvana)

$75,000 =

• A few days on tour with Josh
• He writes, records and markets a 5 song EP about you
• Take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from TOOL’s Lamborgini
• Josh will join your band for a month… if you don’t have a band he’ll be your personal assistant/cabana boy
• take a flying trapeze lesson and then Robin from NIN and his wife will make you raw lasagna

Again, these are not all of the features of each package. I just picked a few items from each price point.

Burger King is stirring up trouble with their new ad for the Texican Whopper – which has the tagline “The taste of Texas with a little spicy Mexican.”

Click play or visit YouTube

Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
Mr. White: A lot.
[Reservior Dogs]

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Speaking of Fish Sticks…
The stories linked below have all appeared on digg.com in the last month… three of them in the last two days. So I thought it was only right to group them all together into one post.

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Cop blames he tested positive for cocaine due to having oral sex with his coke-head girlfriend.

Goldin’s lawsuit said the cocaine in his system was the product of “passive ingestion” from performing oral sex on girlfriend Coreen McCarthy, who, once he tested positive, admitted to him that she was a regular cocaine user.
[via NY Daily News]

Raccoon bites off man’s penis.

A feisty raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s penis as he was trying to rape the animal.
[via The Sun]

Best friend bites off man’s penis and swallows it.

Police and medics could find no trace of Marian’s missing genitalia, and believe his attacker Wojciech Sowinski – now facing 10 years in jail – may have eaten it.
[via Metro News]

Docs: Many Men Have “Small-Penis Syndrome”

Study: 85% Of Women Are Pleased With Partner’s Penis Size, But 45% of Men Wish Theirs Were Bigger
[via CBS News]

Small-penis syndrome is actually called “Micropenis”

Micropensises (penises with a flaccid length of less than 2.7 inches)
[via Live Science]

Does size matter?

Relax, guys. No matter what those, ahem, movies might suggest, in the United States, the average erect penis is five to seven inches long, and four to six inches in circumference.
[via Live Science]

Childcare workers threatened to cut off four-year-old boy’s penis

Two childcare workers have been handed suspended jail terms for holding a knife to a four-year-old boy and threatening to cut off his penis.

The mother and daughter admitted making the threats to “shock” the boy so he’d stop exposing himself at the Perth daycare centre where they worked.
[via ninemsn]

POPE Benedict last night claimed that placing a bible over an erect penis before intercourse is the only guaranteed way to prevent the spread of Aids.

Dr Emma Bradford, of Reading University, said: “I guess you would have to rip out a few pages of Leviticus and then somehow fashion them into a condom-like device using lots and lots of masking tape.

“Or you could shred the pages, soak them in water and construct something that looks a bit like a paper maché cigar tube.”

Dr Bradford added: “It has to be one of those two because suggesting that the African Aids epidemic can be contained simply by reading the bible would be criminally insane.”
[via The Daily Mash]

Teenager paints 60ft phallus on roof of family home

Rory McInnes, 18, climbed on to the flat roof of his parents’ home and daubed the symbol using a tin of white paint, after watching a programme about Google Earth.
[via Telegraph]

Meet a giant fish………..f*ck its brains out.

Anyone who doesn’t already have a copy of The Lonely Island’s “Incredibad” needs to get one. Can’t wait til they do a video for “boombox”.

The lady says she thinks kids should be able to decide when they’re too old for breastfeeding.

MESSED.

UP.

Click play to experience the madness or visit youtube.

…when you’re losing.

The Beard Head comes in four flavors – viking (yellow), lumberjack (brown), grandpa (gray), and pirate (black).

You can also get add-ons, like a new mustache… fu manchu style.

Check ‘em out at beardhead.com